Letting Go & Immersing – When the Ego grows tired, Being begins to speak

What is alive within me?
These days of May, I feel a deep tiredness whispering to me: “Let go. Surrender.”
This weariness comes not only from doing, but from decades of inner struggle.
An ancient pattern is slowly beginning to dissolve: the belief that I have to protect myself from who and what I truly am.
What if I could simply rest now - and remember? It has been an intense month – not externally, but deep within.
A month of exhaustion, not-knowing, retreat – and at the same time of quiet, silent breakthroughs.
Looking back, it feels as though my entire system has attuned itself more deeply to Being.
And yet, there was nothing heroic about this process. On the contrary: it was a depletion of old forces, an exhale, a gentle “I can’t do this anymore.” And in that very place, truth began to emerge.

1. The desire for genuine rest

On May 3rd, I experienced one of those quiet mornings. No energy, no inspiration – and yet, a profound longing for rest.
Not just relaxation, but real rest. Letting go. Not having to function anymore.
My whole system longed to take off all the masks, to give up the effort of being someone.

And I recognized a deep misunderstanding within myself: the belief that I have to protect my true nature.
This belief had built walls, tension, a vigilant inner self – always on guard. But Being does not need protection - not even from its own vulnerability.
We often confuse vulnerability with weakness because we are afraid of being hurt if we truly show ourselves.
Yet it is precisely this openness what makes us deeply human and truly alive.

Vulnerability is not a threat, but a beautiful quality of Being that can be held without us having to protect ourselves from it.
Being is not weak and does not need support - on the contrary: it is what holds and carries us.

2. When the head feels encased in an iron mask

A few days later, on May 11th, I felt how deeply these old structures still resided in the body.
My head felt as though it were trapped inside an iron mask – a sensation of constriction, pressure, darkness.

The image of the film The Man in the Iron Mask with Leonardo DiCaprio, appeared in my mind -
a man locked in a dungeon, his head enclosed in a heavy iron mask, forbidden to live his aliveness.

That’s how it felt within me: as though my vitality, my wisdom, my joy, my expansiveness had been locked away for a lifetime.
Painful – and deeply moving. Because for the first time, I could truly feel it. Not because I intellectually “understood,”
but because I gave space. Presence.
And in that presence, I saw clearly: Being itself reveals what is ready to be seen.

3. Embodiment – when Being enters the body

On May 15th, something precious occurred: I felt my true nature arriving in my body.
There was no resistance, no tension. Only density and lightness at the same time.

My body felt permeated by presence – as a vessel that gives form to the formless essence.
And I understood: now I can live and act as BEING. No longer from an ego that wants to become someone,
but from what is already here – silent, alive, present.

4. When old roles and adaptation become tiresome

And yet – just one day later, on May 16th: fatigue, doubt, emptiness returned.
The mind asked: Was what I experienced yesterday truly real – or did I just want to believe it?
But something inside me remained open and kind. I could see: this too, is part of the process.
The part of me that has struggled my whole life to be someone, to adapt, to represent something that I never truly was -
that part is tired. I tried to be the ego, to live my smallness, to embody the limited version of myself.
The experience on that morning of May 16 was not a relapse, but an integration.

5. Becoming visible – not through function, but through presence

Over the course of the weeks, it became ever clearer: I am in the midst of a transition.
The old is tired and no longer wants to be. The new is here - „yet still“ quiet, unspectacular, without function, without aim.
One wish has become unmistakably clear: to simply be allowed to be.

In my life – in sessions with clients, in daily moments, in my visibility: not longer through roles or performance,
but through presence.

An invitation to continue the journey

Thank you for reading these lines. Perhaps something within you resonates - a longing for silence, for authenticity, for coming home. I invite you to continue your journey with me - not to become someone, but to become ever more deeply who you already are.

If you feel ready to consciously shape your path, I warmly welcome you into a personal session. I look forward to hearing from you.